The Dilemma of Coaching Yourself


THE99PERCENT.COM If we want to cultivate expertise, or "genius," or whatever you want to call it, we need to be able to step outside of ourselves, observe how we are operating, reflect on what could be better, theorize how we could change it, and then test out a solution. The problem is: This is very, very hard for most people.

Pretty much anyone can work hard and adapt their performance if they understand where they are going wrong. However, identifying what needs to be fixed can be difficult. This has little to do with intelligence or even talent, I would argue, and a lot more to do with being one person, in one body.

Or, as writer Atul Gawande puts it in an excellent piece on the habits of top performers, it can be difficult to be our own "outside eyes and ears":
Élite performers, researchers say, must engage in "deliberate practice" – sustained, mindful efforts to develop the full range of abilities that success requires. You have to work at what you're not good at. In theory, people can do this themselves. But most people do not know where to start or how to proceed. Expertise, as the formula goes, requires going from unconscious incompetence to conscious incompetence to conscious competence and finally to unconscious competence. The coach provides the outside eyes and ears, and makes you aware of where you're falling short. This is tricky. Human beings resist exposure and critique; our brains are well defended. So coaches use a variety of approaches – showing what other, respected colleagues do, for instance, or reviewing videos of the subject's performance. The most common, however, is just conversation.
Where are you getting your coaching from? A Master Networks chapter is a great place to develop your skills and receive feedback from other professionals.

Shining Through


Help your business stand out from the crowd.


SUCCESS.COM  In his new book, Selling Sunshine: 75 Tips, Tools, and Tactics for Becoming a Wildly Successful Entrepreneur, Tony Hartl offers a wealth of advice (75 tips to be exact) on how to build a strong, profitable business and at the same time maintain a culture that makes people want to be part of what you’ve created. Regardless of your product or service, using these simple yet powerful strategies will help you stand apart from the competition.


Go the extra mile.

It’s not always convenient to meet your customers’ needs, especially when they call in with a special, last-minute request or show up at closing time. But when you go above and beyond and offer excellent service, you’ll develop a reputation as the go-to person in your market space.


Create a relationship experience, not a transaction.

Take a personal interest in your customers’ lives. Simple things—kind compliments, addressing them by name, remembering their birthdays—show your customers that they’re not just a sale.


Exceed expectations.

“We had the same equipment as the tanning salon down the road. The thing that made Planet Tan truly distinctive was the experience created by our team,” Hartl writes. “Any business or service professional can look for ways to go the extra mile and stay relevant to customers. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a plumber, a piano teacher or a lawyer; you can avoid being ‘commoditized’ if you’re willing to exceed expectations and deliver exceptional service.”

John C. Maxwell: Players vs. Pretenders


SUCCESS.COM  In every organization there are those who would rather act the part than do their part. I’ve classified these people as pretenders. Pretenders can slow an organization down, steal momentum and damage relationships. They live for themselves. When an organization needs “we” people, the “I” people either change or get exposed.
In order for a pretender to become a player, major changes in personality and thought patterns must take place.
A good friend of mine, Bill Purvis, gave me the idea to do a lesson on this very topic. He once said, “I experienced much more success when I learned to tell the difference between the players and the pretenders.”
Pretenders look the part, talk the part and claim the part, but fall short of fulfilling the part. Let me give you five differences between players and pretenders.

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN PLAYERS AND PRETENDERS

1. Players have a servant’s mindset.
Pretenders have a selfish mindset.
Albert Einstein illustrated this point brilliantly:
Strange is our situation here upon Earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to divine a purpose.
From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: that man is here for the sake of other men—above all for those upon whose smile and well-being our own happiness depends, and also for the countless unknown souls, with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy. Many times a day I realize how much my own outer and inner life is built upon the labors of my fellow men, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received.
Einstein realized that he was a debtor to those who had previously gone before him and who had given of themselves to him.

QUESTION: “HOW CAN YOU TELL IF YOU HAVE A SERVANT ATTITUDE?”

Answer: “By the way you react when you are treated like one.”
2. Players are mission conscious.
Pretenders are position conscious.
Players will give up a position to achieve a mission, and pretenders will give up a mission to achieve a position. They are also worried about what their titles are and where they are on the promotion ladder. Players don’t promote themselves; pretenders, on the other hand, are quick to tell you how valuable they are to the organization and will go on and on about their accomplishments.
3. Players are job-happy—They love what they do and do it well.
Pretenders are job-hunters—They can’t do it where they are, but think they could do it better where they are going. Pretenders always think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

PRETENDERS HAVE THREE THINGS IN THEIR LIVES:

► Destination Disease—They think success is always somewhere else.
► Someone’s Sickness—They think success is with someone else.
► Backslider Blues—They think success today is impossible because of yesterday.
4. Players can deliver the goods.
Pretenders promise the goods.
Author Thomas Sowell says, “We hear about the haves and the have-nots. Why don’t we hear about the doers and the do-nots?”
One of my favorite stories deals with this topic. It’s about an illiterate salesman by the name of Gooch who was sent out by a large company, and the following are some letters he wrote back to the boss:
“Dear boss: I seen this outfit which they ain’t never bought a dime’s worth of nothin from us and I sole them a couple hundred thousand dollars worth of guds. I am now in Chicago.”
The second letter read:
“I come here and sole them half a milyon.”
The president of the company posted these letters on the bulletin board with this note:
“We bin spending too much time here tryin to spel instead of tryin to sel. Let’s watch these sails. I want everybody should read these letters from Gooch who is doing a grate job for us, and you should go out and do like he done.”
Gooch is a player; he knows how to bring home the goods!
5. Players love to see others succeed.
Pretenders are only interested in their own success.
Rabbi Harold Kushner said it best:
The purpose of life is not to win. The purpose of life is to grow and to share. When you come to look back on all that you have done in life, you will get more satisfaction from the pleasure you have brought into other people’s lives than you will from the times that you outdid and defeated them.
When I graduated from college and started running my first church, I was very competitive. I would find out what other churches were doing and would compare what they were doing with what I was doing. But I evolved beyond being a competitor…
 To personal achiever
► To team player
► To team builder
I started out wanting to get an advantage on the other churches; now my greatest joy is raising up and developing leaders. Out of developing them, they have added value to my life and I added value to their lives. If you can get everything accomplished by yourself, your dream is too small. One is too small a number to produce greatness. It’s always been about teamwork.

PLAYERS ARE REAL

Leaders do not try to “perform” for the followers’ benefit. They are open and truthful. They have nothing to hide. Truth really does set you free. You aren’t constantly trying to cover up. Pretending to be real is a lot more exhausting than just being real.